(TV) interview with Mr Lloyd

["earcandy_archive" <earcandy_archive@comcast.net>]

An amazing interview with Mr. Lloyd:



http://www.rocktownhall.com/blogs/index.php?p=566&more=1&c=1&tb=1&pb=1#more5
66


I reached soon-to-be former Television guitarist and solo artist Richard
Lloyd at his hotel in Hamilton Ontario, Canada, as he and The Sufi Monkeys,
were about to kick off a brief tour of Ontario and select US cities, winding
their way to Philadelphias Khyber on Thursday, May 17 and ending up back
home in New York City at the Knitting Factor on May 19.
Within minutes of his gradual emergence from what sounded like a
Nosferatu-like awakening, it became clear why a mic has rarely been set
before him by any hands other than his own. The guy wouldnt shut up. Better
to have all that energy and bullshit pent up for his guitar solos, Im sure
some of his collaborators have thought, but this guys on the verge of
something big, and its time we let him have his say.

Today, Central Park SummerStage series is set to announce the appearance of
Television on June 16. Lloyd has announced that this will be his last show
with the band so that he can dedicate his energies to the fall release of a
new album, The Radiant Monkey. Meanwhile, in February, Lloyd reissued his
1985 album Field of Fire in an expanded edition that includes a second CD on
which he re-recorded and remixed much of the original release. I had hoped
that this rare do-over would be part of an enlightening and nerdy discussion
to suit the fantasies of our Townspeople, but instead I was treated to a
torrent of intergalactic mumbo jumbo and would-be provacative macho
cock-talk. KISS Gene Simmons pulling that crap on NPRs Terry Gross is
high-brow water-cooler talk. A cult guitarist pulling similar crap on a
plain old dude whose intentions are good is one of lifes little regrets.
Everything I say is a joke

[In a croaked whisper]
Richard Lloyd: Im a little under the weather as far as my voice is
concerned. Its sort of par for the course that I would develop a chest cold
and a sore throat in front of 11 days straight of singing. Its part of my
karma. Its kind of a cosmic joke thats played on me. You know, my vocal
teacher  one of them  used to tell me that I should quickly run into a
recording studio and sing, because I would have a husky, sexy voice. Even
though I would lose my top notes, I would gain a few bottom notes as I sing
my ballads and love songs. [hacking cough]
Rock Town Hall: If you get to a point when you need to stop to save your
voice, just say the word.
RL: That was about 5 minutes before you woke me up Im kidding. Everything
I say is a joke Im vertical now. This is better. Fluids will move.
RTH: Can you tell me about your new album coming out in the fall, The
Radiant Monkey?
RL: Youre not allowed to say that. You havent got permission. You can say
the letters R-M. Im serious, dont print that. Just say R-M. You can say
that I told you youre not allowed to say it. Thats different than saying
it. It has to do with my ad campaign, which is all teasers, to begin with.
So if you blow it, its like the punchline.
RTH: Im going to be tracked down.
RL: No, youll just interfere with my plans for conquering earth.
RTH: I also read that coming up in May will be your last appearance with
Television.
RL: No, in June. What are you reading, for godsakes?
RTH: Your website. It said this would be announced on May 15th...
RL: June 16th! I know whats on my website. Its not May. Its June.
RTH: Can there be a Television without you?
RL: I dont care. Let them try. Our original agreement was that any three
could replace a departing member and continue under the name Television. God
bless them if they want to continue getting a fourth member, like perhaps
they want to hire Jimmy Ripp. Good luck.
RTH: Good guitarist, but hes not you.
RL: No hes not me, and since I practiced invisibility for fucking 35 years,
you know, excuse my French I wish them well. Its an amicable departure. I
simply do not have the wherewithal to put my magical and supernatural forces
in two projects and I cant ride two horses. My own career has simply turned
into a religious project to save the earth and the little critters that
crawl on its thin, cooled surface over the real earth, which is, if you want
to know what the earth really looks like, look down an active volcano. But
upon the thin cool crust, whereupon the little critters crawl and fight each
other  theyre not very nice to each other  we Sufi Monkeys have simply
got to help teach them to be nice to one another. And if we have to do music
and shamanic performance, so be it. Im asking for religious status for my
Sufi Monkeys because were embarked on a project quite as equally  in fact
much more important to the benefit of mankind  than Scientology.
RTH: Will we need to dress appropriately for your shows?
RL: Yes, with clothing Unless youre a woman. Women do not have to wear
clothing at my shows.
RTH: Sounds like a good policy.
RL: It is a good policy. You know the book of Morman has some odd things to
say. Why shouldnt my religious document have equally audacious, outrageous,
and ridiculous statements? Do you know the Church of the Subgenious?
RTH: Yep.
RL: Well, my favorite saying is when they asked Bob if he practiced what he
preached, and he said, Of course not, Im not the kind of person Im
preaching to.
RTH: Now, youve also recently 
RL: Now? You said Now? What about then?
RTH: We can get to then later; theres plenty of time for then.
RL: Thank you, youre beginning to learn. You see how Ive influenced you
already with my powerful forces of hypnosis? You are now a better human
being than you were then, from before you called me. Thats in fact how it
works with this and me.
Lloyd went on to talk about the most important event in mankind that was
underway, the piecing of the heliosphere by Voyager 2. Considering that I
still cant tell my Big Dipper from my Little Dipper, I spaced out for a
while he found his groove.
RL: Im sorry I got into my harsh period, you know, like Jimi Hendrix [goes
into Third Stone from the Sun voice] I said on the people farm  you
know, Jimi Hendrix, Third Stone [makes raspberry noise]
RTH: Right. Im getting a Third Stone vibe here.
RL: You know, you were recording me, right? How are you gonna quote
[raspberry sound]?
More time in my life passed through the hourglass, as Lloyd correctly sussed
that I didnt read enough comic books in my youth. I was reminded of Ernest
Shackletons ship, Endurance.
RL: Jimi and I have a personal relationship. Just like you have a personal
relationship with your savior and your chief monkey, Jesus or whoever,
Shiva, I have relationship with my master and guardian. I dont just have
one guardian angel. I have phalange. Do you know anything about a
phalange?...
I knew the word, although I had to endure the derivation of the work and a
brief history lesson. Truth be told, I could care less about the Roman army,
Roman history, and the like.
RL: Im applying for religious status in the United States to improve my
financial picture.
RTH: And then whats next, conquer Katie Holmes?
RL: Conquer? Im going to seduce the little critters into being nice to one
another on earth. You know, we havent talked much about
: Im curious about that. One of the things I wanted to ask you about was
the Fields of Fire reissue.
RL: No. Jesus Christ, its not plural! Its Field of Fire. Singular. Because
its anything that seduces you on earth horizontally. It might be dice,
women, whatever it is that keeps you running away from yourself towards some
other kind of inducement. Thats the field of fire. Its the opposite of the
Buddhist Nirvana, which is the cessation of desire. Thats what Nirvana
means; its the blow out. Its the blow out of the candle of desire. So what
do you want to know about the FIELD of Fire? If you want to know about the
fields of fire you should probably go to Hawaii.
RTH: Heres what I want to know about the Field of Fire 
RL: Thank you, Mr. Journalist whos done all his research.
RTH: Mr. Journalist is bad with his proper nouns.
RL: Oh my god, let me come over and kiss you. Would you like to sit on Uncle
Richies lap? I have a big hard cock.
RTH: No thank you.
RL: My bass player is unfortunately laying on the floor in gales of
laughter. I mean sustained winds of 40 miles or more are roaring through his
lungs, and hes bouncing like a bellows. Hes only surpassed by Santa Claus
in the manner of his laughing
Then I was treated to lecture on newspapers that was meant to blow my mind,
maaaannnnn, but I didnt have the heart to tell Lloyd that more pressing
matters, like the divorce of my parents already did that 30-some years ago.
I endured.
RL: You know my new band are The Sufi Monkeys. Im only one of them. It just
so happens that my name has better publicity value, thats why my name gets
mentioned first
Somehow Lloyd then got carried away with this thoughts and challenged Jim
Morrison to a fight. I let out an audible sigh at the realization that Id
be getting very little rock nerd nookie out of this long-distance call.
RL: Yeah, Uhhhh  I heard that little sound, you little critter.
RTH: Hey man, that was a positive sound.
RL: I know, it was the release of some negative energy from you.
Involuntarily I forced it upon thee You see, everything I say is completely
thought out. I mean, Im not thinking right now. Why would I waste my
fucking brain on that? Thinkings like the foam on a beer. Takes up a lot of
space. Doesnt get you stoned, and Im permanently stoned. You can realize
that by the fact that you woke me out of a deep sleep, and Im already so
wrecked, and Ive been speaking nonstop. Im so verbose I havent had time
to do anything intoxicating. All my wishes have come true. Lightening has
struck me three times: during Marquee Moon; CBGBs, which was a 3-year-long
New Years Eve party that I threw along with my friends and all those other
bands that would otherwise have day jobs if it werent for me; and during
the Field of Fire days; and now. You know, three is the most important.
: Tell me about your days setting the scene at CBGBs.
RL: We needed a place to play. A shithole nobody else wanted, and we
steamrolled over the owner, who wanted to have country bluegrass, and we
created the worlds most creative rock n roll club bar none. I mean, is
there any  I dont care for your Cavern Club, Marquee Club,
Whiskey-a-Go-Go, Boo-Hoo-Hoo Club CBGBs is the most famous rock n roll
club to have ever existed and I fucking created it! I was the invisible
force behind it, because Terry Ork, my lover  oh, he wasnt, he just chased
me around. I mean, after all, he was Televisions manager. Whos more
interested in the careers of young, delicious-looking men than gay people?
After all, Brian Epstein Any rock n roll manager is one of two things:
either a sleazebag, cigar-smoking asshole businessman or a gay person. Id
much rather be managed by a queer. Queers are usually nicer than the other
critters that run along the surface of the earth trying to play the game of
King of the Hill.
RTH: Back then, when you were playing 10-minute long songs 
RL: Were still playing 10-minute long songs. Arent you coming to one of
the shows? Were also playing 2-minute long songs. What kind of man are you,
questioning my length?
RTH: I have no problem with your length.
RL: Ive learned to make mine, like, 2- and 3-feet longby folding it in
half. Rolling it up like a firehose, but the girls like to unroll it,
because Im a back door man and a king bee. You follow?
Much silly talk about the sharing of wishes that had already come true and
yoga ensues.
RL: Insignificant little writer! I could crush you like a small beetle, and
irradescent colors would come out. It would be very pretty. It would be
worth your death.
RTH: You have made me cry already, long before weve had this conversation.
RL: I have? I apologize.
RTH: No, please. They were tears of joy.
RL: Ah, the weeping of joy from the musical experience that super mighty
mouse Richard has given you. Yes, Ive made people stop breathing, jaws
drop
RTH: I was at a show years ago in Philadelphia when you were playing with
Matthew Sweet.
RL: Matthew? I love Matthew. Wow, let me get off the phone so I can talk to
him. I like him! No, I like you too. Whats your name, little girl? Hey, can
I sit next to you, girl? Remember that AC/DC song?
RTH: When I saw you with Matthew Sweet 
RL: Hey, are you recording this for posterity? Mankind needs this! Very
badly.
RTH: Ill put it in a capsule and send it out to space when were done.
RL: What good would that do mankind if you send it to outer space, you
idiot? Its coming from outer space! Thats like a letter with something
important in it, and youre returning it to sender. Elvis did that and look
where it got him. He died of straining a stool. Please, with a fucking Nixon
badge on. Dont do that to me!
RTH: When I saw you with Matthew Sweet, every guitar player in Philadelphia
at that time was gathered at your side of the stage 
RL: Yes, starting at my fucking crotch! OK.
RTH: I was surprised people werent shoving dollar bills down your jeans.
RL: I was saying to myself, Will you please move over and let me see some
tits? At least if youre gonna stand there staring at my crotch lend me your
girlfriend after the show.
RTH: Have you ever considered pulling out an acoustic guitar to move the
guys out of your way?
RL: I have big burly security men with me this time. I have a posse So tell
me more about the crying. Youre not letting yourself get a word in
edgewise. Im a New Yorker.
RTH: [speechless]

At that moment I looked across the room in my hotel room and realized I had
20 minutes to pack my stuff and check out. I have failed you, Rock Town
Hall, but I'm man enough to own up to my failure. I look forward to Richard
Lloyd's guitar's thoughts on this interview.
--------------
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